Dec 24 2008
Christmas Eve Gift!
Traditions are an important part of any family’s life. Many of my family’s traditions came about over time from a need to fit a holiday or event into everyone’s schedule and as a way to include the whole family. When my grandmothers were alive, we always started Christmas day at home, ate lunch at my maternal grandmother’s house, then spent part of the afternoon or evening at my paternal grandmother’s house. My grandmothers passed on many years ago, and as my parents’ grandchildren have grown, we’ve developed new traditions.
It is easy to understand how traditions like this developed over time, but there are other traditions we follow whose origins we’re more uncertain of. One big tradition that everyone in my father’s family follows is the Christmas Eve Gift. At just after midnight on Christmas Eve, and throughout the day as we run into family, we all call each other and try to say “Christmas Eve Gift” before the person who answers the phone speaks. Whoever says that phrase first is supposed to receive a gift from the person who doesn’t speak up as quickly. Of course, we never actually give gifts; for us, it’s the bragging rights that count.
My father remembers his grandfather, Paw Martin, pulling this on his family. Every Christmas Eve morning, as my father told me, they would see Paw walking quietly down the road, hands behind his back. And when he knocked on the door, everyone would wait for him to say “Christmas Eve Gift”. This is one of my father’s most cherished memories of his grandfather and of the holiday season.
The problem is, no one really knows why this particular tradition was important to Paw. We’ve only ever run across one other family who keeps the Christmas Eve Gift tradition, and they are unrelated to us, as far as we can tell. Even my father’s extended family does not keep this tradition (or if they do, we don’t hear about it). The best that my father and I can figure is that it was brought over to the U.S. by one of Paw’s grandfathers, both of whom were immigrants (one from Ireland, the other from Switzerland), and passed from one of them generation by generation to us.
It is far easier to document an ancestor through a paper trail than to find traces of the intangible parts of their life. As long as we study someone, we may never know what kind of person they truly were. We may never know if they laughed with their family, or if they were stern and forbidding. We can’t tell from an estate record if they cherished their children or if they loved their spouse. The stories and traditions that are passed down to us about those who are long gone may not have been kept by other parts of the family.
In these more modern times, people celebrate Christmas and other holidays so lavishly. We exchange gifts, we rush from family to family, and we take pictures to record the holiday bustle. But we often fail to write down how we observed the season and why.
Instead of exchanging gifts this season, consider exchanging stories. Have everyone write down their favorite holiday memory on a piece of paper and place them in a pile under the tree for everyone to read. Let everyone leave a comment with the memories (Oh, yes, I remember that!), and make sure that everyone signs and dates their notes. After the holiday ends, make photocopies of the memories and give or mail them to everyone who participated; if a family member had to miss the gathering, send that person a set of memories, too. And then place those memories in your memory box so that your children and grandchildren will know that this is how you were, these are the things that were important to you.
I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. And by the way…Christmas Eve Gift!
